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Some people believe sex and spiritualism are mutually exclusive, that you can’t be spiritual if you indulge in sensuality. It’s true that any kind of indulgence can distract your attention from spiritual development, but the same can be said for the distractions caused by daily living. In my personal opinion, if your behavior does not harm other’s, it’s OK. That implies there is nothing “wrong” with sexual fulfillment, and masturbating for twenty minutes is no more detracting from spiritual development than spending twenty minutes paying your monthly bills. Spiritual development is substantially hindered if you spend most of your day thinking about sex, but this also applies if you spend your time concerned about money. Most of us are “guilty” of one or the other, or both, so it shouldn’t be much of a surprise that metaphysical awareness is in such short supply.
In this section I will speak in terms of heterosexual relationships simply as matter of convenience.
The most intense spiritual state that many of us will ever achieve will be during the act of making love. One way of describing spiritual awareness is that it occurs when an individual is capable of perceiving that which is beyond oneself as being a part of oneself. God consciousness occurs when an individual experiences being All That Is. The expression of love, where the loved one is valued as much as oneself, dissolves the apparent boundaries between self and other. When this expanded sense of being is combined with physical sexual stimulation during love making, the stimulation acts as an energy source which powers the emotions of both partners. These emotions can include love, lust, bliss, joy, naughtiness, fun, and other delightful sensations. The ultimate sexual/spiritual experience occurs when physical sensations are at their peak of pleasurable intensity. It is therefore highly desirable to maintain this peak of physical sensual sensation for as long as possible. For a woman, this means continuous orgasm. For a man it means being on the verge of orgasm indefinitely.
It is very helpful, but not absolutely necessary, to be in love in order to achieve these physical sexual conditions. The deepest levels of intimacy are involved, which means emotional walls must come down completely. Dropping one’s walls requires that you have respect and appreciation for your partner. The physical techniques I am about to describe will produce the prolong states of peak sexual arousal just mentioned, but it is necessary to be completely aware of your partner’s state of arousal in order to maintain that condition indefinitely. This means one must be in constant communication with one’s partner. Believe it or not, telepathic awareness is the easiest way to maintain this communication. As mentioned earlier, telepathy is a merger of consciousness, and love brings down the walls which separate us psychically and emotionally.
All of us are telepathically aware on subconscious levels. This is most noticeable during love making, when two people feel the same emotion. It is not that you feel your own emotion and your partner feels something similar. Emotions produce psychic energy which projects outward from the body. Our auras become filled with this emotional energy, and while making love (as opposed to simply having sex) the auras of both people merge together, becoming a single emotional energy field. What one person feels, the other also feels, because the same emotional energy field is being perceived by both partners.
I know this may all seem a little far out if you are unfamiliar with metaphysical awareness, but I am not describing anything you haven’t already experienced if you have ever been in love. Telepathic emotional communication exists, and it is simply a matter of becoming aware of your perception of it. The visual telepathy exercise described in the Psychic Window chapter enables you to perceive telepathy operating on a visual level in just minutes. The Psychic Touch Dancing exercise in the Psychic Party Games section will further reinforce the way two people can be connected on “other than normal” levels of awareness. It is highly recommended that you perform those two exercises just prior to working with the techniques presented here. Combining all of these together can produce an evening of truly wonderful intimacy.
Spiritual sex is all about stimulating energy on several different levels: physical, sexual, emotional and spiritual. Physical energy is experienced as sensation within the body. Sexual energy differs from physical energy in that it radiates from the body in the same way emotions do. The feeling experienced as “sexual arousal” is a form of sexual energy, and can almost be described as a “sexual emotion.” Two people can share the perception of sexual energy telepathically as the sexual energies merge into one energy field.
When love is involved our emotional walls, which we almost always have in place, completely disappear. When these walls come down sexual and emotional energy merges freely within the combined aura of both participants, and spiritual or “psychic” energy begins to seek alignment. Each type of energy, from physical to spiritual, is progressively more refined and subtle. The more refined the energy is, the more detail it is capable of communicating. Ideally, all these energies form into a single unit where both people experience the same perceptions, physically, sensually, emotionally and even intellectually. All perceptions become one and the same for both people. In practical terms, there is usually some variation in individual perception, but the goal is to reduce the differences as much as possible.
Please keep in mind that what I am describing here is something that most people are already familiar with. All of this happens to some extent whenever people make love. I am simply pointing out details which most people are not consciously aware of. By becoming more aware of the energies involved it becomes possible to control those energies more deliberately, enabling one to reach new heights of transcendent bliss.
OK, now we come to the specific details of how to go about making all this happen. Please forgive my clinical descriptions but they are necessary.
First we start with generating sexual energy. This is best accomplished by creating “excited anticipation” of the sexual encounter to come. It means going without sexual release for as long as is necessary for both participants to feel very motivated sexually. In the mean time, over the course of perhaps two or three days, it helps to flirt and tease, to stimulate modest degrees of sexual arousal in both partners. Any direct physical stimulation should be very brief, only enough to stimulate the beginnings of arousal, then discontinued. Talk about how wonderful it would be to experience continual orgasm, or otherwise place attention on the desire for sex in order to create brief periods of arousal. Do romantic things. Give each other massages or otherwise engage in intimate, not-quite-sexual behavior. Have fun creating the anticipation. And do not be concerned with achieving results the first time. The ability to experience continuous orgasm will take as long as it takes for both partners to get the hang of it. Simply enjoy the idea that such conditions are possible and that you might actually be able to experience them.
Once you are both extremely aroused, the next step is extended foreplay. Burn incense, light candles, put on some romantic music or otherwise create an atmosphere of “special intimacy.” Physically, begin with very subtle stimulation. For instance, if you have long hair, drag it gently across the naked skin of your lover. Men should remember that women are generally twice as sensitive to physical stimulation than they expect, and women should be aware that men generally need more physical stimulation than they do themselves. Take your time and pay close attention to the affect your actions are having upon your lover. Sex is communication. Communicate your responses to the stimulation you receive so your lover can understand the results of his or her actions. All of one’s attention should be upon the other person and what you are feeling sensually and emotionally. Think less, feel more. Gentle foreplay should be continued until the desire for intercourse is intense in both partners. At no point during foreplay should either person be brought to physical climax.
When intercourse begins it should be approached slowly, with attention to all of the subtle sensations one is capable of perceiving. Slow and steady is the rule. It can become difficult to refrain from more aggressive action, but continuous female orgasm requires gentle, steady stimulation of the clitoris. A circular motion repeated approximately once per second is generally ideal. The object is to bring the woman right to the edge of orgasm then apply this slow, steady stimulation. The woman must not “reach for” her orgasm, but should instead allow her partner to “push her over the edge.” When the orgasm begins to trickle in, the woman should focus her attention on all of her sensations, emotional and sensual, and expand her feelings into the space around her. Her partner must continue the same, steady stimulation and “push” his emotional and sensual sensations into the woman’s energy. Feel the energies combine in a sea of excited, and at the same time, relaxed, bliss.
The steady stimulation will produce “ripples” in the female orgasm, where the intensity gradually rises and falls. If both people are fully aware of their partner, each will know the current state of the other’s sexual excitement and more or less stimulation can be applied as needed. The man must not allow himself to climax or the experience will end at that time. In the beginning it can take a bit of practice to get the hang of things, and ultimately the woman must control of how much stimulation she receives, with her partner precisely in tune with her every movement. The woman needs to insure that she receives just enough stimulation to keep the orgasm flowing steadily, but not so much stimulation that she exhausts all of her sexual energy in a more powerful climax. Once both partners are aware of how much stimulation is required the process becomes rather automatic. This is similar to the way Psychic Touch Dancing works, in that movement occurs with neither person actively controlling the movement.
This peak experience can be maintained indefinitely, though it is rare to go more than twenty or thirty minutes without becoming physically exhausted. The emotional energy is a sublime experience, profoundly personal and yet shared. It is, indeed, a spiritual high.
Once this state of continual female orgasm is experienced, it becomes difficult to feel satisfied with purely physical sex, though of course, essentially all sex is fun.
It may seem that the man is getting the short end of the stick in that the woman experiences continual climax while he must prevent himself from climaxing at all. But that doesn’t express what is actually happening to the male in this situation. First, the man shares the same “energy field” as the woman, and thus shares all of her sensations, even physical sensations under ideal conditions, just as she shares his. Secondly, the most intense sexual experience a man can maintain is the peak sensitivity of the moment just prior to orgasm. This peak can be maintained during the continual female orgasm since the stimulation at that time is slow and gentle.
Many men may be unaware that the level of sexual excitement achieved just prior to climax can be maintained indefinitely. It is reasonably easy for a man’s partner to provide this experience during oral sex, as the penis swells noticeably just prior to ejaculation, and if the stimulation is reduced or removed at that point the man will not reach climax. Any man who has experienced oral sex in this fashion, being held right on the edge for what seems like eternity, will eagerly agree that it is the ultimate best that head can get. For some couples, continual female orgasm and prolonged male pre-orgasm can best be accomplished orally.
After reading this chapter on-line, a woman in France, Louisa, wrote to tell me that it is possible for a woman to initiate continual orgasm while positioned on top. Her advice is that a woman should push (as in childbirth) while moving downward, and tighten while moving upward, repeatedly, in a relatively slow but steady pattern of movement. Push as the penis moves in, squeeze as it moves out. She also warns that a man can fail to achieve erection if too much emphasis is placed upon “performing” well enough to achieve this extraordinary level of sexual fulfillment.
Great sex is full of spontaneity and too much concern about technique can become an interference. So if things don’t seem to be going as planned, just relax and have fun, knowing that one day you may spontaneously catch on to how easy all this really is to do.
For those who may feel that this subject doesn’t belong in a book about developing metaphysical awareness, all I can say is there is a good chance the information presented here could quite possibly result in the most profound spiritual experience of your life.